: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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