Pants 0. Shit 1.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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