threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Randomize
