my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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