You really coming over, don't trick.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
