fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
