she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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