I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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