I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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