You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
