super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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