I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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