Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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