Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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