if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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