I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
