Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
