just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
