i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
