It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
