its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
