I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
