I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
