I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
