How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
