whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
