I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
