Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We're too hungover to prance.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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