I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
