I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
