OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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