Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
