I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
