So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize