If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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