If i come over, it means nothing
Please, let me fuck your mom
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
