i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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