Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
