"it" just moved
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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