she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What a dumb baby whore.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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