By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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