Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
