your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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