When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
