Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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