he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
