I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
