9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
