i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
