Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
