and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
